We’re all interconnected, and no one event affects just one person. The degree of impact changes based on a variety of factors - usually the closeness of the relationship and the physical proximity are two big factors. When there is a death, or another life-altering transition, we can use rings...

The anniversaries of my sister’s (8/9/17) and father’s (2/6/04) deaths are the two most impactful days of my life. It’s customary to check in with someone when it comes to celebratory remembrances (Birthdays! Holidays! Hooray to happy times!) but not so much on less festive occasions. A lot of folks...

Grief is complicated and difficult. To be a family member or friend of someone who lost their life by suicide adds an additional level of complexity. Much of this is due to the stigma of suicide. I dedicate this post to those trying to survive after a loss by suicide...

The miscommunication of grief is kind of like this hug between my nephew and my daughter. Good, heartfelt intentions, but an uncomfortable and painful experience.    What you say and mean is not always what I hear:   But even if I don't hear your intentions, thank you for trying. It...

 Updated: March 14, 2019 ~ Recommendations can be found halfway down the page. When you are recently diagnosed or bereaved, people are frantic to help you solve your problem. This is well-intentioned but can often be annoying. Especially when advice comes from the 'Solutions People.' When my mother-in-law’s breast cancer returned...

I hate it when someone asks me, “how are you?” Actually, I don’t really mind the question when someone I don’t know asks. I recognize it for what it is - conversational fluff. Most of the time it’s asked in passing and no one is really listening to the answer....

Being the co-host of two funerals tops the list of my life’s stranger experiences. I dreaded both my sister’s and father’s services, wishing I could choose not to go. But like (so) many things in life, the anticipation was much more intense than the experience. I ultimately found the events to be soothing, empowering*, and...

When it comes to couples and immediate families, there’s usually one person who gets designated the role “Public Representative for All Correspondence with Relatives, Friends, and Whatnot”. This person is almost always a woman, by the way - a shock to no one - though there are some notable exceptions...

In 2011 I had my first experience with death. Well — Facebook death. A former classmate of mine had died in the early morning hours in a motorcycle accident. At the time I was in New Hampshire with my husband and father-in-law. It was just less than a month after mother-in-law’s death and...