Earlier this summer I posted on Instagram  that it was my dad’s birthday. I honestly haven’t been thinking a lot about my dad - my head and heart are too wrapped up in the loss of my sister. Right now, I’m not a great model for managing multiple losses, as...

I constantly think about what was happening at this time last year.  There are big moments - like in November I remembered that at that time the year before my sister finished her chemo. Christmas was the anniversary of her hair starting to grow in and she stopped covering her...

This is angrief - the unique version of anger that you find in the depths of your grief. I am really angry that my sister died, and sometimes I wish I could shout a big F*CK YOU to the people who piss me off. It would actually be less of a...

I posted this series on instagram the other day, but wanted to share it here too. Grief is exhausting, and part of it is due to the enormous amount of mental space that your loss occupies. Almost everything I do can be connected to my sister. Here are ten examples of...

This first appeared in Modern Loss. Reprinted here with permission.  This is my sister — her name is Alison. As I am writing this, it’s been about 10 months since my sister’s unexpected death. A short enough time that I can think back to a year ago today when life was...

I hate it when someone asks me, “how are you?” Actually, I don’t really mind the question when someone I don’t know asks. I recognize it for what it is - conversational fluff. Most of the time it’s asked in passing and no one is really listening to the answer....

I come from a long line of fastidious thank you card writers. My grandmother once questioned me about why my husband didn’t write her a thank you card for the thank you card she sent him for a gift he gave her (were you able to keep that straight?). I...

Being the co-host of two funerals tops the list of my life’s stranger experiences. I dreaded both my sister’s and father’s services, wishing I could choose not to go. But like (so) many things in life, the anticipation was much more intense than the experience. I ultimately found the events to be soothing, empowering*, and...

There is a grief underbelly: a dark, cold place swirling with thoughts that many grievers have but are too ashamed to admit. They’re usually only verbalized in the safe spaces of grief groups or honest conversations between grievers when they feel free of judgement. The first aspect of the grief...