The Zinnia — Parent Loss
Here for You crafted the perfect package for my best friend after her mother’s passing. It was inclusive of all the right items and even allowed me to add some chocolate for her to enjoy. It was a really difficult time for both of us and I was struggling with what to send. I am really happy I discovered Here for You and highly recommend their packages.
My friend has such a big heart and warm soul. She took care of her mother while working full time and attending grad school. She's suffered through other devastating losses in her life and when her mother passed, I knew I wanted to do something more for her than sending flowers. I'm on the other side of the world, so I couldn't hug her in person or do much to help. I found Here For You while searching for ideas of what to do and nervously selected items for a custom box. My friend messaged me while opening her package and said it was perfect. That it was exactly what she needed. It was such a huge relief to me, knowing that I could be there for her even from so far away. I'm excited for her to receive the additional resources, too.
I was so impressed with the level of customer service. The emails after my package was delivered and the follow up card being sent, WOW!!!!! Above and beyond!
Thank you so much! Even the thoughtfulness of the follow up card - it truly is the perfect timing to when people begin to go back to their daily lives and into the daily grind where they still struggle with the loss. Your personal email to check in was also above and beyond. It truly feels like you care about these people and I think it is beautiful!
Here for you has gone above and beyond. Their customer service is as personal as the products that they produce. Excellent company!
Compassion Package Tips
And answers to your pressing questions
What should I write in my card?
Be sincere and share how you're feeling without overshadowing their grief.
Example of sharing your pain in appropriate way: "Desi was such a positive light in my life. His humor brought me so much joy over the years. I will miss him terribly."Example of overshadowing the bereaved's pain: "This is the saddest thing that's ever happened to me — I don't know how I will get through this."
Share a fond memory if you have one - especially if the card receiver has never heard it.
Anything that stands out to you will be special, even if it seems insignificant.
Share how you will continue to remember and honor the deceased (examples below)
"I know Ralph loved key lime pie. Whenever I see it on the menu I'll be sure to order it and think of him." "My children are too young to remember your mom, but I will tell them about those adventurous summers we had camping together. I'm going to teach them how to light a campfire, just like how she taught me."
If you want to offer help, be specific. If you can make a commitment, do it.
Avoid (at all costs) 'call me if you need me' - this puts the burden of action on the person you are trying to help. They will never call you. Offer a concrete way to help. Try 'I will bring you dinner next week', or 'I can watch the kids for you on Friday morning' and follow up on your offer. If you are in a position to offer ongoing support, don't be shy about sharing what you can do. For example, "I am home every Sunday afternoon. I would love to have your kids over to our house on the weekend so you have time to yourself. They are welcome any and all Sundays." Or, "What would be more helpful, if I bring over dinner every Friday or take your dog for hikes instead?"
Avoid all platitudes. Common examples:
-You will get through this
-They're in a better place
-They'll always be with you/in your heart
-At least they....(didn't suffer, are no longer suffering, didn't know what was happening, had a chance to say goodbye, etc. etc. etc.)
-May your memories bring you comfort
-Everything happens for a reason/God needed an angel/God wouldn't give you more than you can handle
It is best not to mention what I'll call religious comfort. Keep in mind that people who find comfort in their faith may not find comfort in statements like the ones I've listed above in the very early days after a loss. It is best to err on the side of caution and leave them out.
Many of the religious statements or platitudes listed above are not really about about offering support. They're encouraging the bereaved to accept their new reality or express gratitude during heartache. Platitudes essentially come across as minimizing the bereaved's pain.
The advice listed above is just that — one person's advice. These are tips are based on what I've learned after speaking with many bereaved people, and also having written hundreds of cards myself. Trust your gut, and use these recommednations as a guide.
How quickly will the package arrive?
Most packages will reach their destination within 1-5 business days.
If you need guaranteed 1-2 day delivery, please choose Priority Mail Express or UPS Next Day Air at checkout (there will be an additional charge).
During the checkout process, you will receive a shipping estimate before the sale is finalized. Approximately 90-95% of orders arrive by the estimated shipping date.
If your order qualifies for free shipping, we will send the box via USPS Priority Mail or UPS Ground.
I need to sent multiple packages — how do I do this?
At this time we cannot process multiple destinations within one order. Please make each package a separate order.