In late 2019 I was involved with two in-person grief groups (The Compassionate Friends and The Dinner Party) and many more online. I noticed that only in these safe spaces did the bereaved felt comfortable enough to disclose what they were truly thinking. Wishes for harm to come to others so they wouldn't feel less alone in their grief, anger at the surviving partner or spouse or child. Disdain for the friends that they used to adore.
Usually when you admit these feelings to the general public folks try to talk you down from your opinion, "Oh, you don't really want your friends to have a stillbirth, do you?!". But when you're in the company of bereaved you instead hear, "I understand."
It was at that point that I invited followers to share their own secrets. I call the series Hidden Grief and have received hundreds of submissions over the years. This is one of many.
My only requirement for Hidden Grief posts is that the comment section must be 100% supportive. Any user who tries to coach another out of their feelings is removed. While I certainly may not share the experience with the anonymous submitter, I do know how important it is to share feeling without judgement. For more Hidden Grief.
We have many Hidden Grief posts. Including this one on another departed brother, social media posts on dead celebrities, and when the "wrong" parent dies first.
