Miscarriage & Stillbirth

Pregnancy loss is perhaps one of our most hidden forms of grief. It is so widespread but rarely talked about. 

Women that experience miscarriage may be in a place of deep grief before anyone knew they were pregnant. Women whose child is stillborn may feel pressure that this loss is not as significant compared to that of a baby that had first been born alive.

The non-birthing partner may feel pressure not to grieve too much, that it's not their loss. Or maybe they're worried that their reaction is very different than their partner's. 

Loss during pregnancy is incredibly complicated. What is most important, though, is that your pain matters. Your child matters. 

A note about our resource recommendations: I gravitate towards honest and secular accounts of loss. I love it when there is humor mixed in from time to time. The resources listed here will make little-to-no religious/spiritual references or the 'everything happens for a reason' mentality. 

Books specific to Miscarriage & Stillbirth

An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken — by far, the most recommended book I've found (and read) on pregnancy loss. 

Poor Your Soul by Mira Ptacin 

The Rules Do Not Apply by Ariel Levy — an NPR interview with the author

And many more recommendations here via the Glow In The Woods bookshelf

Books that may also help (that are not specific to miscarriage/stillbirth)

It's OK You're Not OK by Megan Devine | A book that normalizes the grief experience and, most importantly, affirms that whatever you're feeling is completely normal (and there's nothing wrong with you)

Modern Loss by Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner | Collection of essays on all types of loss, but many focus on the loss of a partner 

Blogs & Articles

Glow in the Woods — For babylost mothers and fathers

Here Comes the Sun — by Nora Lafata. This is a wonderful place to start, but there are many beautiful entries. 

Modern Loss — A wonderful collection of essays on stillbrith and miscarriage. This essay, in particular, might offer comfort for someone recently after a miscarriage. 

You Know Someone Who Had a Miscarriage — A powerful, interactive piece in the NY Times. 






This episode of Terrible Thanks for Asking.