Grief, in some form or another, will stay with you forever.
For me, the characteristics of raw grief fade over time — but it can take years. I didn't know this when my dad died, and figured I'd be terribly sad...forever.
But that wasn't the case. I was forever changed. I will forever miss him. But I wasn't always sad. I also wasn't always regretful - I accepted what had happened as a part of the story.
It's been nearly 18 months since my sister died, and I am still in the raw-grief phase. This is completely normal and totally ok. The only benefit (?) I've found about having two important people die is that I am no longer frightened by my feelings. I recognize them for what they are —representative of my great love for my sister.
I present - everyday examples of my raw grief:
One day these metal loops will be gone and I won't miss them. I don't like hoping that healthy people will die or that misfortune will fall another family. In the meantime I'm patient and not beating myself up for the places my mind takes me. I know that I'm not alone — both in my situation or in my thoughts.
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