Blog

My daily thoughts

My daily thoughts

I posted this series on instagram the other day, but wanted to share it here too. Grief is exhausting, and part of it is due to the enormous amount...
Stop asking, “how are you?”

Stop asking, “how are you?”

I hate it when someone asks me, “how are you?” Actually, I don’t really mind the question when someone I don’t know asks. I recognize it for what i...
Thank you cards and why I don’t do them (anymore)

Thank you cards and why I don’t do them (anymore)

I come from a long line of fastidious thank you card writers. My grandmother once questioned me about why my husband didn’t write her a thank you c...
Should I go to the funeral?

Should I go to the funeral?

Being the co-host of two funerals tops the list of my life’s stranger experiences. I dreaded both my sister’s and father’s services, wishing I coul...
Making a List - How the Bereaved Keep Score

Making a List - How the Bereaved Keep Score

There is a grief underbelly: a dark, cold place swirling with thoughts that many grievers have but are too ashamed to admit. They’re usually only v...
Sympathy by Proxy

Sympathy by Proxy

When it comes to couples and immediate families, there’s usually one person who gets designated the role “Public Representative for All Corresponde...
How to Facebook when someone is hurting

How to Facebook when someone is hurting

In 2011 I had my first experience with death. Well - death on Facebook. A former classmate of mine had died in the early morning hours in a motorcy...
Our dog died....and why you shouldn't judge grief (but it's hard not to)

Our dog died....and why you shouldn't judge grief (but it's hard not to)

On Wednesday, January 31, we had to euthanize our dog Abe.  The date lies exactly six days after the anniversary of my husband's mother's death (1/...
How we survived the holidays

How we survived the holidays

Members of my grief group began talking about the holidays in October. Though I was new to the group, I had actually already made plans for my fami...
Where are all the grievers?

Where are all the grievers?

If we love, we will grieve. What a sad proclamation for love. An obvious truth that many of us deliberately ignore to prevent sudden onset pani...
Why is it so hard to know what to say (also - what should I say?)

Why is it so hard to know what to say (also - what should I say?)

My dad was very sick in the summer of 2003 - he was waiting for a kidney and pancreas transplant and was not healthy enough for the surgery. He had...
When Sh*t Hits the Fan - Give the Gift of Toilet Paper

When Sh*t Hits the Fan - Give the Gift of Toilet Paper

It's really hard to understand what living with grief is like until you have to live with grief. It's equally hard to know what it's like to get a ...